Mommy, I love you

Mommy, I love you

Drawing Day #6

Drawing Day #5

Drawing Day #4

 Drawing Day #3

Drawing Day #2

Drawing Day #1

 

Am I giving my children what they need? That is a question I ask myself every day. Am I giving my kids what they need to fully develop as an individual? Do they know I love them?  It is one thing to say “I Love you” to your kid and something completely different for your kids to believe you.  I tell my kid’s everyday that I love them.  I also tell them every day, to get out of pajamas, make their beds, that they have to clean up a mess when they make them.  Sometimes I think the positive things I say and my expressions of love for them get drowned out in all the day to day of mom telling them they need to go do ________ fill in the blank.  Sometimes I feel like I must sound like the teacher in the Charlie Brown cartoons to them”wawawa wa”.

Its hard as a mother to see in the moment things that you do that communicate clearly to your children the feelings “ I love you, I cherish you, I am proud of you, and I am glad to be your Mommy.”  A little bit ago I was talking with a friend of mine and she was expressing her feelings of inadequate. I totally understood how she was feeling but had no clue how to help her feel better. I see lots of things she does with her kids that are amazing.  The length she goes to so her kids can develop their talents is impressive.  Her patience and persistence is angelic.  She is so close to her situation it is hard for her to see the all the good she does. I have told her some of my observations in the past but this time is I didn’t think that was going to help.  I think as a mom sometimes it would be nice to have something tangible, something you can hold in your hands in front of your face and say “this is good, I did this right, even if I screwed everything else up.”

When I went to her house a little bit later. I was helping her in her kitchen and I saw this pretty blue vase on her window ledge.  She had “wild flowers” (most people classify as weeds) in it that her girls had picked for her.  Several thoughts hit me as I looked at these flowers.  My first thought was, there is the proof that she is a good mother. Here is why I say that. She could have gotten angry at her girls bringing weeds into the house but she didn’t.  Instead she had put them in a pretty vase up on the window ledge on display.  The window ledge in her kitchen is at eye level for her. She washes her dishes frequently so she will see those flowers often by putting them there, which say to her children those flowers they picked are important because she wants to see them frequently. She has also taken the time to put water in the vase.  “Wild flowers” usually do not last long enough to need much water.  Yet she had taken the time to do this, showing her kids that she wanted to care for what she had been given.  She also showed she wanted those flowers to be protected by putting them on that window ledge because their dog would not be able to get at them.

I know some people might say I am reading too much into her actions.  That a mother putting wild flowers in a vase or even a metal soup can if that is what she has is not a sign that she has done something right, it is just a small thing.  I would ask that person to think about the thoughts, emotions, and the pride that a child usually has when presenting those wild flowers to their mother.  It is pure love from a child to a mother, with no intention from the child other than to give their mommy something she will love.  Further, a mother shows that same love in return to their child when they display that loving gift in the best way they can. Whether that is a glass jar, metal soup can or an old kool- aid stained cup.

This piece is about that simple love a mother has for her children and their children have for them.